Govt to offer printers Chinese takeaway

As part of its wide ranging review to cut competition the Federal Government today announced a partnership with Beijing to set up an Australian print park in mainland China.

According to the chief executive of the Chinese Resource Australian Pacific Partnership (CRAPP) trade co-operation body Mr Foo King Grate, the new partnership will allow Australian printers to cash in on the boom of Chinese print flooding into Australia.

Mr Grate says, “It is perfect for Australian plinters, they will be able to join in with Chinese plinters sending heaps of work to Australia and not paying any GST on jobs under $1000 (use multiple invoices for bigger jobs), which means they will be able to undercut themselves, and stop taxes going to the Australian government – so everyone benefits.”

The government is inviting all printers to submit tenders to become part of the new print park, located in the regional town of Weetake Uforide.

[Related: Printers cashing in]

Australian trade commissioner John Simpleton says: “Government funding is available. The Australian government believes in the print industry and backs it to the hilt – look at our $6m investment in Focus Press Wollongong last year, fair enough the brand new plant closed down two days after it opened, but we did get the company the cash.

“This new CRAPP strategy will surely be good news for dinky die Aussie printers because it means they will be competing with themselves and avoiding GST, to the benefit of, erm, er, just let me think about that one.”

As part of the CRAPP strategy and under the Harper Review, the government will also end all parallel importing rules on books, meaning that Aussie book printers which are now likely to go to the wall can relocate to the new China print park and enjoy the benefits of low labour costs, exotic meals, jail for dissent, and two new year breaks.

Weetake Uforide mayor Mr Dol La Too Mee says: “Any Australian plint business will reap rich rewards from this venture, maybe not as rich as me, but that’s because we’re all communists here.

“For a very reasonable fee I can assure Aussie plinters that I will give their application my best attention, as long as they get it in by April 1 next year.”

John Simpleton says, “If anyone knows of the whereabouts of our $6m would they mind getting in touch.”

Comment below to have your say on this story.

If you have a news story or tip-off, get in touch at  

Sign up to the Sprinter newsletter

Leave a comment:

Your email address will not be published. All fields are required


Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.