A serious shortage of sausages has led the drupa organiser to cancel the giant trade show just two months ahead of opening, leaving printers around the globe in shock this morning.
German sausage production has been in trouble for months, with a bitterly cold winter causing farm, abattoir and food factory workers to spend most of their working day on their iPhones doing the Euro lottery or looking at pictures of Bondi beach, with a massive drop in sausage production the result.
The world’s biggest trade show, which was expecting more than 300,000 printers over 11 days in June, will now no longer be taking place, leaving non-German exhibitors fuming, although the local exhibitors are fully supportive of the decision.
Untermeinfuhrer Herr Hans Fritzelschnitzel, head catering manager at the Messe Centre which hosts drupa, says, “Ve simply cannot host ze most important event in print vizout adequate wurst. Und mit ze current uncertainty over production ve cud not guarantee our guests vud hav ze wurst, vich is completely, absolutely and definitely unzinkable und most totally unacceptable.”
There is a sausage mountain in nearby UK right now, which has been growing in preparation for the English summer barbeque season (July 1-3), as the Poms stick to a chip butty diet over winter, however Germany is not allowed to import sausages, Herr Fritzelschitzel says, “A schwine is a schwine, und ve do not vont some cockeney English swine masquerading as schwine, ve hav enough of those at ze soccer games. Not acceptable.”
The head of the German printing equipment manufacturing association – Vedebest – Herr Johan Messerschmidt says, “Alzough a difficult decision for some to understand the is no vay ve could ask printers to come to a sausage-free zone – zat is impossible, you may as vell ask fish to swim vizout vater.”
While much of the rest of the world is reeling from the news Australian printers seem unfazed, one local printshop owner ProPrint spoke to says, "Mate, the show may be off but the bars of the Aldstadt are remain open; mate we're still going, anyone who cancels now is a first rate wuss, pure and simple."
The drupa organisers have gone to ground, leaving printers in the dark, the only communication from them has been a single tweet saying that they will not be making any comment or update until April 1 next year.
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